Jared Palmer's Line:

"We never had dancing girls before."
-- On part of the spectacle that opened the USA vs. Czech Republic Davis Cup match

The opening of the USA vs. Czech Republic tie at the Great Western Forum just about had everything -- strobe lights, smoke machines, lasers, blasting music, pyrotechnics, and yes, even dancing girls. This is not a new phenomenon for anyone who has attended a sporting event at an American arena. But for tennis?? Gone are the days when athletes arrived on the playing field with little more than applause and cheers. Tennis was one of the last holdouts. Let's blame it all on professional wrestling. In my younger days (way back when Jesse Ventura was known as "The Body" and not Mr. Governor) the "show" always started well before the actual wrestling match did.

Today, pre-game theatrics are a staple at most professional sports. Often it proves to be the most exciting thing a sports fan will see that day. Three years into our Major League Baseball franchise here in Phoenix, folks still applaud the opening of the roof at Bank One Ballpark at Arizona Diamondbacks home games.

The players emerged into the darkened arena from a smoke-filled tunnel flanked by the LA Lakers "dance team" (who ditched their usual purple and yellow duds for an equally skimpy red/white/blue number). The USA team was introduced with Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" predictably blaring in the background. By their facial expressions many of the players appeared to wonder how they had landed in the middle of a Backstreet Boys concert. I am glad I was not the only one. The hoopla made me cringe a bit. Even John McEnroe, who is on a one-man mission to "pump up" interest in Davis Cup, was subdued upon his introduction. Perhaps the US coach, who seems to be sporting a perpetual "I just got out of bed" look these days, was just plain shell-shocked by the sensory overload. Most striking though was the absence of Mr. Showmanship himself from the opening production number despite being scheduled for the second match for the day. Andre Agassi never emerged from smoke tunnel even after his enthusiastic introduction (apparently the longer the announcer stretches out a name the more excited we are supposed to be to see them). While I did not hear any reason for Agassi's no-show, I secretly hoped it was a boycott of this kind of inane fanfare. These days everyone seems to be dreaming up new ways to make tennis more "exciting." I say let's just let the tennis "sell" the tennis.

Alexandra Stevenson's Line:

"That is the idea -- to keep the ball in the court"
-- from her "Road To Wimbledon Diary" currently on CNNSI's website

Simple tennis advice. Advice that one would expect weekend hackers to be mentally repeating more so than a touring professional. Alexandra Stevenson made headlines on and off the court last year at Wimbledon. It was a impressive "debutante" performance but lately the Californian is in the throes of a "sophomore slump." The year started off promisingly for Stevenson as she reached the quarterfinals of Sydney (defeating Barbara Schett along the way). The next two months proved disastrous as Stevenson won only one match in her next six tournaments. Having caught Stevenson at Scottsdale in the middle of this losing streak, I first-handedly witnessed the 19-year old's inability to keep the ball in the court. Not unlike the Williams sisters in their early days on the Tour, Stevenson possesses a tremdous amount of raw talent. But raw talent is not enough to win matches these days on the Tour. So reading Stevenson's above quote, I was heartened to know that the American was aware of her current on-court problems. Often times the most basic fixes are the ones most overlooked.

Stevenson is certainly not the least bashful player on the Tour, but then again who is! Stevenson is giddy in victory but mopey, and even whiney, in defeat. Stevenson wears her proverbial heart on her sleeve and is also quite a talker. But a talker in a constructive way. Her Scottsdale press conference (after a first round loss to Jennifer Capriati) was a study in "stream of consciousness." Despite the devasting 6-3, 6-0 loss, Stevenson had the ability to analyze her game and talk herself through her on-court problems.

This week at Amelia Island Stevenson took another step forward by hiring former pro Brian Gottfried as her new coach. Gottfried is prepared to be in for the long haul citing that Stevenson is not a "two or three week" project. Gottfried did give Stevenson a dose of instant grafication as she won her first career clay court main-draw victory at the Bausch & Lomb. It was also her win since early February.

Gottfried's greatest challenge will be instilling some reasonable and realistic expectations for the self-admittedly impatient Stevenson. Stevenson's current ranking is largely being held afloat by her surprising semifinal appearance Wimbledon last year. The American is not alone in this respect as Jelena Dokic and Mirjana Lucic also face similar computer point pressure at the All England Club. My hunch is that none of these players will approach their 1999 results. At the moment each player is a mess on the court. Stevenson deserves credit for apparently doing something about it. While a new coach and the right attitude may not prevent an earlier exit from this year's Wimbledon, the American is building the infrastructure (if she and her mother stick to it!) for more curtsying in future years.